#19 How To Spot A SCAMMER + Is Monogamy 'Natural'?

In this conversation, Mark Rosenfeld and Teal Elisabeth discuss the challenges of online dating, focusing on how to identify scammers and the importance of intuition. They share personal experiences and insights on what to look for in profiles to avoid attracting scammers. The discussion also delves into their personal favourite pickup lines, highlighting effective strategies for making genuine connections in real life. In the main topic, they discuss the question of "Is long term monogamy 'natural'"? and delve into the complexities of monogamy, and the personal growth that comes from commitment. They share insights on how to approach conversations with potential partners, the evolutionary perspectives on monogamy, and the transformative effects of long-term relationships on personal development.

Takeaways
Online dating can be fraught with challenges, including scammers.
Trust your intuition when communicating with potential matches.
Look for specific red flags in online profiles to avoid scammers.
Authentic compliments are the best pickup lines.
Confidence in photos can deter scammers.
A phone call is a crucial step in vetting potential partners.
Be aware of vague language in messages; it can indicate a scammer.
Scammers often use generic phrases that women want to hear.
Your profile should reflect confidence and openness to attract the right people.
Direct approaches save time and set clear intentions.
Asking if someone is single can clarify interest.
Monogamy may not be natural but can be beneficial.
Commitment challenges individuals to confront personal fears.
Long-term partnerships can foster personal growth.
Difficult conversations are essential for relationship clarity.
Men often feel safer and happier in committed relationships.
Supportive partners can help navigate fears around commitment.

Chapters
0:00 Introduction
0:32 Teal Breaks Her Health Streak
2:11 How To Spot Easily Spot A Scammer Online
13:42 Is YOUR Profile Attracting Scammers?
16:42 Our Best PICKUP Lines!
27:52 Is Long Term Monogamy... 'Natural'?
34:15 How Monogamy Benefits MEN
45:41 Want Personal Help? Book A Call!

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 0:32 Teal Breaks Her Health Streak
• 2:11 How To Spot Easily Spot A Scammer Online
• 13:42 Is YOUR Profile Attracting Scammers?
• 16:42 Our Best PICKUP Lines!
• 27:52 Is Long Term Monogamy... 'Natural'?
• 34:15 How Monogamy Benefits MEN
• 45:41 Want Personal Help? Book A Call!

Transcript

[Speaker 1]
A sneaky scammer spotted in the wild, best and worst pickup lines, and is long-term monogamy natural? We'll see you right after this. G'day and welcome to The Tinder Project, the podcast where a straight Aussie man attempts to survive 365 days dating online as an American woman.

I'm your host, Mark Rosenfeld, Australia's dating coach for women. I'm here with my sidekick, self-love coach, Teal Elizabeth, and together we have one mission, to make meeting good men fun and easy for you. Let's give it a go.

Teal!

[Speaker 2]
I love how you strike this every time. It's like I'm genuinely the most exciting thing all day. Teal!

Yay! Like a kid.

[Speaker 1]
It's great to see your face. I just adore it. It's great to have it back.

Although you have broken a streak of... How long has it been since you've been sick?

[Speaker 2]
Oh, I know. I'm plagued with the disease, the sickness.

[Speaker 1]
Poor Teal has informed me before the recording guys today that she has bronchitis, and so I issued her a personal challenge. Teal, Mark's challenge to you is don't you dare cough once throughout this entire podcast.

[Speaker 2]
Oh God, don't do that to me. You can't make me laugh, because if I laugh then it's just all over. You know that.

[Speaker 1]
I can't make you laugh, but I'm so funny, Teal. It's an impossible challenge.

[Speaker 2]
I know. This is going to be really hard for me. No, honestly, it's been...

Well, I guess I can't jinx it now because I'm already sick, but it's been like years since I've gotten sick. I think I... Well, I guess it's been a year.

I had COVID last year when I was...

[Speaker 1]
That's not actually that long, Teal.

[Speaker 2]
Two years ago. It was two years ago I had COVID. That was the last time I got sick.

[Speaker 1]
I've gone on 365 days since last... Oh, no. I'm back to zero.

Zero days since the last time I was...

[Speaker 2]
Two years. Two years. But anyways, I guess it's humbling.

It's humbling. I'm not superwoman and I am a human, even though I like to pretend that I'm an angel. I still have a physical body.

[Speaker 1]
Well, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Obviously, being pregnant takes it out of you. You're also writing a book and doing so many things.

So slow down for a week, Teal. The listeners need you next week. We need you to be here.

So take care of yourself. Would you like to see what I came across this week, which is a little bit of fun?

[Speaker 2]
Yes.

[Speaker 1]
Guys, I came across... This was exciting, actually. My clients and I really enjoyed this.

We came across a sneaky scammer out in the wild. And yeah, it took a little. It took a little.

Now, I have taken the liberty to not block his photos or his name in this case, because I find it highly unlikely Mr. Nigeria or wherever the hell he's from is going to get me for defamation. But basically, yes, I was on Bumble this week and I ran into one. So I want to show you, Teal.

I'm going to share my screen here and we're going to have great fun looking over. Now, the interesting part was it started off as a perfectly reasonable conversation. OK, so here's how the conversation started.

Teal, can you see my screen? Yes, I can. Those who are listening, we've got John and we've got a messaging chat in front of us and it's Bumble.

So we opened the conversation. We said, hey, John. And he said, hey, Samantha, how are you?

Nice to connect with you. Very reasonable. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Now, he asked us a question. We have got our emoji license back. Teal, I took it back from you.

No more emoji bands. But we're not going overboard with the emojis. We put a couple in here.

We answered John's question. So the second exchange was also actually pretty standard. We basically answered his question, said how we were, used a couple of feeling words, and then he answered back.

We also asked him how he was and he said, I'm fine. I'm working remotely from home today. Don't have a lot of work.

And then he said, didn't you go to work today? We were kind of messaging in the middle of the day. So I thought that was a reasonable enough question.

So everything's pretty Mickey Mouse so far, Teal. All good. We answered his second question about why we had the work day off.

And he said, not bad. Very relaxing. It can be seen that you're a very disciplined person.

Ha ha. What do you like to do to relax yourself? Now, at this stage, I had no bells going off.

In hindsight, looking back at his text, again, I'll read it out one more time. He said, not bad. We said, how was your work day?

He said, not bad. Very relaxing. It can be seen that you are a very disciplined person.

Ha ha. Hindsight, I see it now. But this one didn't quite clear me in just yet.

So we went along, Teal. We continued. He said, what do you like to do to relax yourself?

Again, slightly odd wording, but I didn't pick up anything yet at the time. We answered about what we like to do to relax and we're into the fourth exchange. And he also answered what he likes to do to relax.

Now, his answer was a little vague. He said, I like fitness, reading books, watching movies. Sometimes I also do outdoor sports to relax myself.

I like to get in touch with nature. Reasonable answers, but nothing concrete. But OK, people are bad texters.

Again, I didn't pick up much on that. He did ask us for the second time, don't you have work today? And I said, wait a minute.

We just answered that question. Oops, zoomed in a bit there. We said, wait a minute.

I just answered that question. Why did he ask that again? But, you know, sometimes people ask questions twice.

So there was little weird things he was doing, but they weren't screaming scammer to me yet. So anyway, we answered the question again about why we didn't have work. And we responded to a couple of his things.

Now, this text looks very long. It's not because for the listeners, we've got this kind of spaced out text in front of us. But Bumble's doing this weird line spacing thing on the phone sometimes.

So it's just a Bumble bug. So don't worry about the length. And here's where it starts to get interesting.

We're into the fifth exchange. And this is his response. He says, yes, my work is also very busy.

Ha ha. Because of my work, I've been doing all kinds of data analysis and data collection recently. I'm a business consultant, mainly dealing with financial transformation and strategic policies and enterprises.

I also have my own real estate, BTC and gold trading projects. Ha ha. Which is good for me.

Okay. This guy's sounding like he has a lot going on. Very successful.

Lots happening. Here's the second half of what he wrote. I believe that you also love your work very much.

I also hope to establish real communication with you instead of leaving messages to each other here. I look forward to receiving your number so that we can understand and communicate more. I also hope to find my future partner.

I look forward to a long-term, stable and serious relationship. I have a good impression of you. This is where I started to get suspicious.

And you can see in the subtle signs here, because we have to ask ourselves, do men with this much going on, financial consultancies, I don't even know what a real estate BTC is. It sounds like he's talking about Bitcoin, but maybe I just don't know what that is. Do men with this much going on, financial transformation, strategic policies of enterprises, do they say things like, I look forward to a long-term, serious and stable relationship?

Men like that don't talk like that to women they've just met online. He says, I have a good impression of you. I was starting to get suspicious at this point and I didn't give it away.

So I kind of continued. We said, oh, wow, you have a ton of things going on. It sounds like we might be on similar pages.

Here is my number. So we dropped the number there and his follow-up response was the one that gave it away. I'm just going to switch to the other screen here.

The follow-up, he said, do you have WhatsApp? Because my mother is German, my parents enjoy life there. And actually the bottom of the text got cut off here.

There was a little bug, but he basically tried to move us over to WhatsApp. Now in Europe, that's very common behavior, but in America and Australia, you have to be suspicious when you see that. We said, hey, looking forward to speak, looking forward to speaking.

I don't have WhatsApp, unfortunately. So we'll just have to use the regular phone. Are you free for a call today?

My man, John had unmatched by the next day. We caught him good. So I kind of went with it the whole time.

But in hindsight, the biggest things, the WhatsApp comment and this big piece here, which is unfortunate because in some ways he's saying what you want to hear. But if you read between the lines, it kind of became quite obvious. I also hope to find my future partner.

I look forward to a long-term stable and serious relationship. And one last thing, I want to show you his photos because this is another reason I didn't suspect him at first, or at least I didn't get my spidey senses didn't get tangled in the first couple of messages. His photos were normal-ish.

They didn't make him seem like the most outstandingly attractive guy. He says, my most random skills. I have a clear analytical mind.

For those that are listening, he's out there with kind of in the hills with a blue jacket on. He looks like he's about 45. He's smiling.

He's a decent looking guy, but he's not the best looking chap in the world. Next photos are reasonably, he's kind of got a beard and he's hanging out at home with a glass of wine. And then the last one, the last one's interesting because he looks like, I don't know if you agreed to, it looks almost like, I didn't pick this up at first.

He's basically standing in front of a cliff edge and you can see green behind him and a cliff behind him with a horizon. And he's bent over at an odd angle and it wasn't until I really looked at this photo that it looks like someone's been cut out of it, but where the person's been cut out is just background. So his pose is sort of awkward to the point, it looks like he might've been arm in arm with someone, but the someone's gone.

And so he's just in half the photo and the other half is just sky and greenery. Do you notice that too?

[Speaker 2]
Wow. That's a really astute observation. I wouldn't have probably picked that up right away.

I would have seen maybe he cropped himself out and the woman's on the other side. But you're thinking he actually digitally imposed himself onto a background, is that what you're saying?

[Speaker 1]
I'm honestly not sure. I think it's more likely that the background was AI'd in and he was actually, whoever this man is, which is probably not the man we're talking to, whoever he was, was actually at this location and there was probably someone with him, likely a woman who's been AI'd out. But he could also have been AI'd into this photo as well.

But yeah, I didn't pick it up first glance either.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. Well, this whole conversation, I hope it's not scaring women and I hope it's not adding more just doubt and insecurity into the online dating space because that's what I know a lot of women are dealing with and facing and it can be very uncomfortable to feel like, especially with this new day and age where AI is a thing and you can create digitally created images. It's like you don't know who to trust and what's right.

And all of those interactions that you were reading through, you're right, it wasn't anything glaringly obvious that made it sound like this guy's a robot or this guy's a scammer. It just sounded like, yeah, it doesn't really sound great. It doesn't sound like it's flowing and it sounds weird.

[Speaker 1]
Well, I don't want, yeah, it's a good point you make too. Guys, I don't want you to be discouraged by this and go, okay, online's full of scammers, we shouldn't use it. After these couple of texts, it started to become really obvious.

And I remember I said to my clients, I was like 10% suspicious after the third exchange. I was 90% after the fourth. So use your intuition.

You know, this guy, he's an attractive guy. I'll bring up the text just one more time for those who might want to see it. You know, this is an attractive guy with a lot going on.

He's not giving specifics here and he's talking like someone who doesn't truly speak the language very well. So I was suspicious, but I wasn't certain until I got the WhatsApp thing and he unmatched. But that's a quick way to tell.

If you get these people to the phone call, it's just such an easy test. So rather than take away, oh, there's all these scammers there. I want you guys to take away the message that like they're actually really easy to spot and filter out.

I run into them, you will as well, but they're not common. This is the first really obvious one I can remember that I've run into. And it just became very blatant, especially in that big, oh, shoot.

Click that, especially in that he was being vague, but in that big text where he said, says all this stuff. And then I also hope to establish real communication with you instead of leaving messages. I look forward to exchanging your number so that we can understand and communicate more.

Like that guy who does those things in business, they don't text like this. Put two and two together guys, use your intuition. I also hope to find my future partner.

I look forward to a long-term stable and serious relationship. He's literally writing the cliche thing that, quote unquote, women want to hear. And of course, it's nice to hear that, but it's so cliche.

Look at who he is, look at what he does, and then look at the cliche. Nothing here matches up. It's really obvious.

So just make sure you listen to your intuition on this because these people are easy to spot and get them on the phone, talk to a real human, get out on a date. You'll blow their cover every time and they'll go ask for Bitcoin from someone else.

[Speaker 2]
And that's so true. The phone call to me is the ultimate litmus test. If they're not willing to get on a phone call, they do not deserve to meet you in person.

Regardless if they're a scammer or not, we need to be able to filter out because within five minutes, you're going to be able to know energetically by talking to them if there's a weird vibe or not. I think 90% of the time.

[Speaker 1]
You'll feel it. You'll feel it. And especially if they're not in your area.

I mean, this guy, I didn't quite read that part, but it wasn't, I'm in the military. It was my mom's in Germany, blah, blah, blah. Let's go on WhatsApp.

I was like, damn, I got you, brother. I know where you're at here. You guys can spot this.

You'll know from listening to this now. Don't, they're not that common. They can be a little more common if your profile isn't up to scratch.

And it is true that certain profiles attract them a little bit more, but that's okay. You'll spot them. Use your intuition.

Don't be silly about it. Don't get attached to anyone at all, ever over text, meet them in person, get a vibe for them, get a feel for them. Your intuition will guide you every time.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, I, that does beg the question. What are some things that you think women should be looking for in their own profile to make sure that they're not potentially attracting scammers? You said if they're not up to date, what would that mean if they were more of an up to date profile?

[Speaker 1]
It's not so much up to date. Yes, that can happen. It's actually quite subtle, Teal.

I would probably need to look at the profile to say, just from going through it with you now, you're more likely to attract them if you're in the middle age group. 35 to 55 tends to attract them the most. I'd say even 40 to 60 can attract them the most.

And unfortunately, if you don't look confident and open in your photos, if you look a little bit insecure, if you look a little bit withdrawn, and it can be subtle, it can be the difference between an open mouth smile and a clenched jaw. There's little signs you can pick up on in photos that our unconscious brains register that scammers know to look for. And you can sort of see someone's energy and confidence through a photo.

Not entirely, but it would be interesting to actually do this with you. We should do this one episode where I just go through 10 women's profiles and just show you what I immediately pick up on as a man, as a coach. I have a little bit of extra insight, but we can pick up on things.

For example, I saw a profile today and she didn't have an open mouth smile in a single photo. And I said, that's not good, girl. You're just going to attract guys that don't want to see you for your life.

I was turned off by it because I could see how closed she was. Is she like that in real life? We can't know for sure, but my brain certainly thinks that she is.

So I was turned off by it. And any man that goes, oh, I like someone that's a bit held back, that's a bit insecure, that's a bit not going to challenge me, that's the type he's going to go for. So there is a lot that gets communicated under the surface.

As I say, it's a little more common in the middle age, mature age group. And if you're not, certain poses draw attention. If you kind of look lonely or insecure in your photos, you will get it a little bit more.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, that's really, really good insight. Absolutely. So anyone watching or listening, just really take that lens to your own profile and ask yourself, are you portraying the most confident, open, strong version of you, or is there any potential insecurities that are coming through?

And you can have a girlfriend go through and gut check for you and just give that second opinion.

[Speaker 1]
Actually, another one I would say, Teal, is all your photos are professional. It's usually a giveaway that you're not super secure and that can attract more scammers.

[Speaker 2]
Ah, interesting. If it's too overdone.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, yeah. If it's not candid enough. It usually, it's basically saying, I don't like being seen candid.

I like to be seen a certain way, which some communicates insecurity. So isn't that interesting?

[Speaker 2]
There is so much, a picture really does say a thousand words.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. Yeah. Shall we talk about pickup lines?

Cause I really want to hear about this.

[Speaker 2]
Yes, I've got, I've got a good one for sure.

[Speaker 1]
Actually, my first question is if I was a guy and you were single, what would be the pickup line that would work on you?

[Speaker 2]
Oh, well, nobody's ever asked me that before. What would be the pickup line? Well, then that goes into what would be the best pickup lines that I've seen and heard.

And to me, truly, I think they are the most authentic, genuine flattery, right? Wow.

[Speaker 1]
Like a compliment pickup line.

[Speaker 2]
Like a genuine, authentic compliment that actually shows that you see me and hear me or value me in some sort of way. Excuse me.

[Speaker 1]
The worst one. You broke your streak, Teal. You broke your streak.

Before we go to the worst one, poor Teal, can you give an example for us, Teal?

[Speaker 2]
I forgot that I wasn't supposed to cough on this. That's not going to happen.

[Speaker 1]
Can you give an example of an authentic one? Cause I have a couple that I think are cute, but I'm curious to hear from you first.

[Speaker 2]
Oh gosh, you're putting me on the spot now. It's been so long since I've been picked up, Mark.

[Speaker 1]
Have you and Spencer not done the cheeky role play where you dress up as strangers and you go to a hotel bar and you pretend you don't know each other. And he sidles on over with that side eye and says, We need to, we really need to.

[Speaker 2]
No, I just like waddle around like a pregnant woman now. I'm like, I don't feel very attractive, but it's, um, no, it's a little different vibe.

[Speaker 1]
It's a different vibe.

[Speaker 2]
But no, I mean, gosh, like actual genuines that have, I, that have really worked for me. Why don't you test some of yours out?

[Speaker 1]
I'm going to interject with a couple. I think simple and direct always goes down reasonably well. So something like, Hey, I saw you over here.

Honestly, I thought you were attractive and I wanted to come introduce myself. I think can go down really well. Hey, I saw you over here and honestly, I would have been kicking myself for the rest of the day if I didn't at least come and say hi, meet you.

That's, that's a good one. Um, pretty much those ones where you be direct seem to go down the best. I tested thousands of these backgrounds, 21, 22, often using the same one over and over again.

And it was always the direct ones. I was very shy doing these and it took me a lot more time to build up to being that direct with my intention. And it didn't always work.

Sometimes you'd get a back turn or something. So it's not like it worked every time, not even close. But those were the ones that when they landed, they really landed.

Hey, you're beautiful. I just wanted to come say hi. What's up, I'm Mark.

Those went down well. The fun one that I liked, if I wanted to bomb into a group, I said, there's six women there. Frankly, I'd be happy to date any of them.

I just want to be in that group was, Hey guys, sorry I'm late. And then I'd add something. Oh, I made Tia laugh.

[Speaker 2]
I love that because that just shows such confidence in yourself and such a playful lightheartedness of like, hi, of course you love me. Here I am.

[Speaker 1]
Sorry I'm late team.

[Speaker 2]
And anyone in here want to pick me up?

[Speaker 1]
It was a trial getting here, but we're here together now and that's what's important, isn't it? It's great to see you all again.

[Speaker 2]
As you've been putting me on the spot about this, I think the reason why I can't come up with the good ones is because I'm not in the driver's seat with this, right? I'm not the one that's thinking about pickup lines. I'm the one receiving the pickups.

[Speaker 1]
You're receiving the lines.

[Speaker 2]
And so I don't even think of it as a pickup line. I'm just like, Oh, that's a cool guy. Oh, that's a cool guy.

So, but then hearing you say that, I'm like, Oh yeah, that works for sure.

[Speaker 1]
That makes sense. That would, yeah. And obviously you need to have the nonverbal communications as well.

Your tonality, particularly as a man, as a woman, it probably matters a little bit less, but as a man, you need to have your posture, tonality, eye contact, not be a weirdo. And it's, it is hard for guys. I remember practicing a lot to get that stuff right.

And sometimes you'd still feel insecure. You could get it right often. And then you go out the next night and you feel insecure again.

So it could be very hit or miss. There was always a thing that we did where we said the first three don't count. And that really helped us because you'd be so nervous for the first three, that most of the time the women would pick up on how nervous you were.

They would pick up on your energy. They'd be nervous too. And then the conversation would get awkward and weird.

So the first three don't count, helped us a lot. A couple of the bad ones. You want to hear some cringe ones that I used back in the day?

Yeah, that was embarrassing. It's just so embarrassing. Um, so when I was really shy and had a bunch of lines and didn't have anything to say, I didn't, I was too scared to be direct.

So I asked, I, we use what we call opinion openers, which is where you kind of sidle into a group sideways and you pretend like you've been having a discussion with your friend and you lean over and say, Hey guys, can I get your opinion on something? We're having a debate here. And then you ask a dumb question.

So sometimes it would work. Sometimes it wouldn't. Hey ladies, ladies, we're having a debate here.

Who lies more on average, men or women? Or Hey ladies, curious. We're having a debate here.

Would either of you under the right circumstances ever date a man who was in a wheelchair? It's just some sort of discussion that brings up a debate. And it was funny because if you could sort of sell the line, usually it would start a conversation.

It wasn't very, sometimes it would just be a logical conversation, it would start a conversation. But if you couldn't sell the line, it looks so bad and so cringe because they're like, Oh my God, they literally made that up to try to talk to us. And we know it.

And now it's really awkward. And yeah, I had some, I had some bad, we used to call them blowouts where the women just go, they look at you and just go and just turn their head, turn their back. That's some bad blowouts doing those.

But it was all a confidence exercise. It was a resilience building exercise. And yeah, over time, I just really started to learn the direct ones.

They are harder, but man, they just, and they get straight to the, they get straight to the point as well. They set the frame that I'm interested in you. So they don't, they save time, which is, which is a real benefit.

The other one, my other personal favorite, if I was somehow already in a conversation with a woman, but I was interested in her and wanted to make it clear, the very simple question, you know, I meet her friends or something, you get chatting with people, you're dancing, whatever, interacting with people when you're out. The very simple question, actually, you can use this during the day as well. I use it during the day very effectively in almost any environment.

I would simply say, Hey, I have a question. Are you single? And I just kind of do a smile and just be gentle with it.

And like, Hey, quick question. Are you single? And if she says, actually, I'm not, I go, okay, cool.

And kind of lean, lean back a bit, keep chatting like a normal human. If she says, actually I am, I go, okay, awesome. I just had to ask and then back into the normal conversation.

And it just shows as long as she doesn't then leave. It's like, okay, we're flirting now. I asked that because I'm interested.

I didn't need to say it literally that way. But the fact that I've asked the question, you know, I'm interested. I know I'm interested.

You haven't left. Therefore, we're sort of, we're doing this frame now. So that one really helped me a lot.

Just going, have a question. Are you single? Okay, awesome.

[Speaker 2]
I love hearing all of these insights from the man's perspective, because I think, I don't know, this is a refreshing conversation for me because I genuinely haven't given much thought to pick up lines. Because that's not something that women have to think about, right?

[Speaker 1]
I wouldn't imagine that you would.

[Speaker 2]
No, no. And so when we were gonna have this conversation, I was like, I mean, I've got a really cringy one. I'll share it that I saw from my girlfriend.

I was like, Oh my God, that is repulsive. But other than that, I mean, all these things, all these things that you're sharing. I'm like, Oh, that's just having a conversation.

Oh, that's just normal banter. Oh, that's just normal conversation. But you're actually registering it as these are pickup lines.

These are tools and skills that I'm actually applying on purpose to implicate all these things. And of course, 100%, these are pickup lines, but they're not cheesy sleazy things. They're genuine.

And I would even say that getting your opinion on something isn't a cringy one at all.

[Speaker 1]
If it's real, if it's real, when you've walked around a bar or club asking the same question of 10 different groups, when you don't actually care about the answer, then it's a cringy pickup line.

[Speaker 2]
Okay, fair. Very fair. Yeah.

Do you want to hear my cringy pickup line?

[Speaker 1]
Please. Quit holding out on me.

[Speaker 2]
It's been like three months since my friend shared this one with me, but it was so cringy. I was just like, it's ingrained into my brain forever. She was having some little back and forth, like very short back and forth with this one guy.

And it was clearly a very physical kind of relationship that was forming. And at one point he just genuinely said, Hey, I think you're so hot. I would love to come and sit on your face.

[Speaker 1]
Simple and easy to remember.

[Speaker 2]
I mean, I don't really know where you go from there.

[Speaker 1]
I feel like that would be more appropriate if the woman said it. I don't know if the guy's saying it. With a woman, you go, okay, she wants it.

This is, I know why we're here. All right, let's go. Where's his Uber?

Come on. I have to tell you about the time a woman tried a similar line on me and I completely botched it. I'll tell you that on another episode, but I botched almost similar.

I completely botched when a woman used a very similar line on me at one point.

[Speaker 2]
I just wonder, like, does that actually work on anyone? Well, did it work? Oh God, no.

She, I mean, at this point she was like, no, I mean, she was just playing around with it and being flirty and sexy and stuff. And then it got to that point. She's like, okay, dude.

Yes, he said it. We've crossed a line here, dude.

[Speaker 1]
I want to sit on your face.

[Speaker 2]
Unmatched.

[Speaker 1]
Oh, this was over text.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, it was over the back and forth DMs. I assume this was in person.

[Speaker 1]
I'm imagining this in person and they're flirting and he goes, babe, I just want to sit on your face. Whoa, heck.

[Speaker 2]
I think he was just seeing how far he could go with it and how, how weird she was. Cause it was already going that way. And I'm like, girl, do you?

But yeah, no, never, never.

[Speaker 1]
Okay. Maybe for any of the listeners who, who, who get into a frisky situation in person, get your guy to try that one on you and see how it feels. Hey, babe, I want to sit on your face.

[Speaker 2]
Okay.

[Speaker 1]
What if Spencer said that to you? What if Spencer said that to you, Teal? Babe, can I sit on your face?

[Speaker 2]
You're like, get away, you freak. That would be my genuine response.

[Speaker 1]
Poor Spencer. Poor Spencer will never sit on Teal's face ever. Okay.

[Speaker 2]
Okay. I can't laugh anymore. This is not working.

[Speaker 1]
Teal's suffering here. Those who are not watching on the video, guys listening, poor old Teal is just, she's just ready to tap out at this point. We haven't even got to the main topic.

All right. I guess Mark's carrying this podcast for the rest of the night.

[Speaker 2]
Teal!

[Speaker 1]
Teal just sits there giggling and chuckling and trying not to cough. Look at you. You're a mess.

[Speaker 2]
I've also been on back-to-back calls and interviews all day. So I think my throat is just gone. It's just gone.

[Speaker 1]
She's cooked. She's cooked.

[Speaker 2]
I'm here. I'm showing up and I want to have a good conversation about monogamy because I think this is a very important conversation for everybody. And I know that all our listeners are going to appreciate the real candidness of me being here regardless.

[Speaker 1]
They will. And I do too. So the question is, is long-term monogamy natural, Teal?

You want to dive in on this first?

[Speaker 2]
Yes. A hundred percent. Yes.

I love that we're having this conversation because everything in our brain would probably logically say no. Just in the fact that to evolve the species, the idea, if you look at everyone in the animal kingdom, our main biological role is to advance the species forward, keep human beings procreating and growing and going. So you would think on a logical level that monogamy is not the best thing for the human species.

However, I've, from personal experience and just from, I would say that the human experience being in monogamy, I have seen such a difference with men I've spoken to and my own husband, that monogamy has allowed them to feel so much more happy and at peace and secure and safe when they are focused on one woman versus having all the women in the world to choose from. But I'll, I'll dive into it a little bit more. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

What do you think?