#24 Can You 'Make Yourself' Fall In Love?

In this engaging conversation, Mark Rosenfeld and Teal Elisabeth discuss the challenges of balancing personal goals with parenthood, the differences in emotional responses between genders, and the importance of self-compassion in goal-setting. The duo shares what their own spouses said were THEIR 'weirdest' traits, and then in the main topic of the day, delve into the complexities of attraction and compatibility, focusing on the question of "If you meet someone great, can you CHOOSE to fall in love?".

Takeaways
- Mark shares his struggles with balancing the Tinder project and fatherhood.
- Teal emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and not pushing through when feeling unwell.
- The conversation highlights gender differences in emotional responses and coaching styles.
- Mark and Teal discuss the quirks that make them unique in their relationships.
- They explore the weirdest things their partners say about them.
- The duo reflects on the complexities of attraction and compatibility in relationships an answer the question "If you meet someone great, can you... 'make yourself' fall in love?"
- They discuss the role of chemistry and physical attraction in love.
- Mark shares insights on online dating and the importance of giving people a chance.
- Teal emphasizes the significance of nonverbal cues in attraction.
- They conclude with the idea of sensory dating and its potential impact on relationships.

0:00 Introduction
0:34 Mark's Toughest Week In The Tinder Project
2:45 Differences Coaching Men Vs Women
4:58 Is "Suck it up, buttercup" Better Advice For Men?
7:50 What Is The Weirdest Thing About Teal According to Hubby
12:09 What Is The Weirdest Thing About Mark According to Wifey
15:01 Can You 'Make Yourself' Fall In Love?
28:30 Enjoyed The Podcast? Give Us 5*

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 0:34 Mark's Toughest Week In The Tinder Project
• 2:45 Differences Coaching Men Vs Women
• 4:58 Is "Suck it up, buttercup" Better Advice For Men?
• 7:50 What Is The Weirdest Thing About Teal According to Hubby
• 12:09 What Is The Weirdest Thing About Mark According to Wifey
• 15:01 Can You 'Make Yourself' Fall In Love?
• 28:30 Enjoyed The Podcast? Give Us 5*

Transcript

[Speaker 1]
Balancing the Tinder project with fatherhood. What's the weirdest thing our partners say about us? And can you help yourself fall in love?

We'll see you right after this. G'day and welcome to The Tinder Project, the podcast where a straight Aussie man attempts to survive 365 days dating online as an American woman. I'm your host, Mark Rosenfeld, Australia's dating coach for women.

I'm here with my sidekick, self-love coach Teal Elizabeth, and together we have one mission to make meeting good men fun and easy for you. Let's give it a go.

[Speaker 2]
Mark, hi, so good to see you.

[Speaker 1]
You too. I've never seen you in blue.

[Speaker 2]
Believe me, I have a whole realm of colors, although I do gravitate towards maroon a lot.

[Speaker 1]
Do you? Actually, you may not know this about Australia, but our football team, which is the kind of top rivalry in Australia, is Queensland versus New South Wales, and the maroon is our team, so we can get behind that. Shout out to the Queenslanders out there.

[Speaker 2]
How are you doing this week, Mark?

[Speaker 1]
You know what, I had a little bit of a rough week or rougher week with The Tinder Project. This is a big goal, and I think over the holiday period, it really hit me how big it is. Every day, even if you're not feeling great, even if you don't feel like it, even if something gets in the way, my goal is to do this every day.

Now, there's no guarantee that I'll achieve that, but we're over 190 days in now, and we're kicking along, so we're doing well, but yeah, I think balancing it with the fatherhood thing over the holidays, I did all my calls at night, Teal, so after everyone went to bed, and yeah, it kind of caught up with me. I got a little run down. I think I did the calls from 9 to 9.30 or 9.30 to 10, and baby's waking up, I'm getting up early, and obviously, I usually do the calls during the day, usually do The Tinder Project during the day, and yeah, there was a couple of days there, Teal, I'm not going to lie, where I went, oh, this is, oh, I'm struggling, I'm struggling. Do I really have to do this tonight? Do I really have to log on tonight? And I know I don't have to.

I always have the choice, but I don't know. Something got me through there. I didn't want to come and face you, Teal, and say that I dropped the ball, my accountability buddy.

[Speaker 2]
I really admire your determination and your tenacity of following through and sticking to your goals. You have truly shown me that, and I also do think that we can walk our talk of what we're talking and teaching all of our ladies, and if you're not feeling it, don't push through, right? It's all about the energy that you're bringing to this experience.

[Speaker 1]
It is true. It's one of those things where, I don't know, I'd be curious, does this differ from men to women? Because I will say that I used to coach a lot of men.

I don't coach that many men anymore. I will say, Teal, and maybe I'm sexist or biased, I don't know, you tell me, I will say that when I work with men, in terms of the consistency stuff, I push them a little harder, and I will give them a little bit more of suck it up. Whereas, and I think there's a biological basis for this, women experience negative emotions bigger, more frequently, more intensely than do men.

So, it's not saying the same thing to tell a woman to push through as to tell a man to push through. I'm generalizing here, but if we know that to be true, when men have a little bit better ability to compartmentalize, whereas I think, I don't know, you tell me if you disagree, but because women experience negative emotions so presently, and especially with our work that we do, where it's really connecting with those emotions, I think working with women, I would be more likely to tell them to take a break, you know, trust your feelings more, whereas maybe not Am I biased and sexist?

[Speaker 2]
No, not at all. Well, I don't think allowing men and women to be different has to be then correlated with being biased or sexist. I think men and women are different, we are different species in a lot of ways.

[Speaker 1]
I agree.

[Speaker 2]
You're right, we do operate very differently, and it's been something I've been consciously working away from for many, many years to not push through when I'm not feeling in alignment. And there is a trick, trickiness and a finesse, again, to that experience, because sometimes, you know, if you were to just really follow through and be so in your feminine all the time, if I don't feel like working ever, then nothing's ever going to get done. And we can't be fully in that.

But at the same time, I think for a lot of women, we have been so conditioned to operate in this masculine driven world of you just shove it down, you push through, you just burn yourself out, that it's not healthy. And so I think there is a balance.

[Speaker 1]
I have a question on this then. So would you say from everything you just said, that suck it up, push it through, grind on, would you say that that is more damaging to women than men?

[Speaker 2]
I don't know. I don't know. It's hard for me to know the man's experience.

I think in general, though, we are human and humans all have a nervous system and nervous systems get burnt out. So I would say no, I think it's pretty relatable for both. And hearing what you're experiencing too, you know, pushing through and grinding it out, even though you've been having lack of sleep with your little sweet baby, just because I'm a mom and you're a dad doesn't mean that you should push through and I get to take a break and let things slide.

You know, I think we both need to give ourselves that grace and compassion when things are difficult.

[Speaker 1]
I will say the one thing I've seen, I don't know if you recognize this, is when I get new clients on and I ask them, do you want me to be Mr. Supportive coach or Mr. Challenge coach? I notice the women more often pick either support or mix of both. Whereas a lot of the men lean towards challenge and that's probably my anecdotal experience and why I say that.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, yeah, no, I think there is some truth to that. But I think, I think what I'm hearing is, one is how they want to be supported versus their relationship they're having for themselves, right? What you're talking about is you've been, you've been feeling like you've had to push through on yourself and wanting to let go on your own boundaries and things, right?

But if we're talking about having a coach, then a coach is going to treat that very differently. But I think when we're building a relationship with ourself, I think we're usually too hard on ourselves. We push ourselves too hard with our expectations.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, that's, and you know, we do that for a good reason. It's because with regards to ourself, we want to be, you know, we want to perform, we want to be the best person we can. And so we tend to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Whereas with others, often we have more of a sense of compassion, because if we, if we literally treated others, evolutionary speaking, the way we treat ourselves, we probably wouldn't have any friends because we're extremely judgmental on ourselves. So we project that out, be judgmental on others, the whole tribe would be disconnected. So there is actually a precedent there for being nicer to others than we are to ourselves.

[Speaker 2]
Main takeaway is cut yourself some slack.

[Speaker 1]
Cut yourself some slack sometimes. Yeah. Give yourself a break.

Teal, I, we had a question from one of the listeners and I want to throw this to you first, just to, just because I want to hear yours first. Uh, what is the weirdest thing about you according to your partner? What does Spencer have to say about this?

[Speaker 2]
Our listeners want to know, huh?

[Speaker 1]
I want to know as well, actually, because Spencer's got the inside goss on you and I could, I could get the glitzy version. I could get the version where you can, you can cover up, but Spencer will tell the truth. So what's the weird thing about you according to the man that knows you best?

[Speaker 2]
Oh my gosh. I know I adore him so much because I am, I have so many little quirks, um, as does he. And you know, you just accept these people for who they are.

Um, the one that he specifically referred to, he says that I have, what was his exact wording? An extreme optimism for recycling.

[Speaker 1]
I think I have that too. Go on. I'm curious what your definition is.

[Speaker 2]
And it's, it's interesting because some of it comes from like our family dynamics, which has been really highlighted being home and visiting family. His mom like tosses out any, like food related tosses out anything at the first sign of like an expiration date hinting that it could be bad. And my mom, on the other hand, will literally cut mold off cheese and keep eating it.

So something we get into a debate about a lot, and this isn't recycling, this is more reusing and saving.

[Speaker 1]
Food wastage is a real compatibility issue.

[Speaker 2]
You don't realize it, but I will get so pissed at him because he will open up a new box of strawberries. You know, when there's still an old box of strawberries in the fridge and I'm like, eat the old ones first. And he's like, well, I want the new ones.

And apparently growing up, his mom would always say, oh no, no, don't eat the old ones here. Have the new ones.

[Speaker 1]
That's so interesting. I'm so with you.

[Speaker 2]
It's like, eat the old ones, eat the old ones, clean out the old first before you open the new. So, and I'm always on the other end, eating all the scraps and all the leftovers and cleaning out the fridge. And then I'm like, how come I'm the one kind of being left with all the shit here.

I'm supposed to be the queen here.

[Speaker 1]
It's not working.

[Speaker 2]
How come he's getting the new strawberries and I eat the old ones because I value this more than he does. Damn it.

[Speaker 1]
I will not waste food. I will not waste food. I will not waste food.

I'm just sitting there eating moldy strawberries just to avoid wasting the food.

[Speaker 2]
But actually that's not what he was referring to. That is one of the quirks, but the real quirk he mentioned was a very weird experience that I shared with him. We were back in my hometown in Santa Barbara, California, near my hometown.

I went to school there and I was telling him at this exact beach that we were visiting back in college, I literally, it was the weirdest thing. I was surfing and I got out of the surf and there was this pile of clothes on the beach and a suitcase. And literally a suitcase had like exploded somehow, somewhere.

I don't know if it was right off the beach or if it had come from a distant land, but there was a suitcase.

[Speaker 1]
Well, like it fell out of a plane.

[Speaker 2]
Or fell out of a plane or a boat, but there's a suitcase washed up on the beach and this whole big pile of sandy wet clothes. And for some reason I was like, perfect, a new wardrobe. And I literally scooped up the whole bag, or not bag, the whole like pile of wet, soggy clothes.

I was on my bicycle too. And I had my surfboard. So somehow I carried my board, this thing of clothes and my bike and biked home to my house and threw the whole thing in the washing machine.

I swear you, I kid you not, every single piece fit me. They were all women's clothes. No way.

They were pants.

[Speaker 1]
It was like a gift from God. It was literally- From a suitcase out of the sky.

[Speaker 2]
A gift from the ocean. I was like, well, thank you universe for new clothes. And I was in college and I was being thrifty and I was like, sweet.

That's amazing.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, I love that. I love that about you.

[Speaker 2]
I told you this story and he was just appalled, absolutely appalled. But I think also just very endeared as well. Just that this is one of my quirks, is that I have an extreme optimism for recycling and reusing.

[Speaker 1]
Yes. Do you still have any of those clothes?

[Speaker 2]
I mean, no, that was like 15 years ago. So I've upgraded my wardrobe since then.

[Speaker 1]
So you've done a little- Now I wear blue sweaters. Now we wear blue sweaters. Gotcha.

Very nice. Okay. Optimism for recycling.

So I asked Sam and she said, okay, you know, where do I start? The first one is a sin I committed recently where I was standing in the kitchen and you know how you have those moments where you're with the other person's family and suddenly everything stops. You know, everyone's looking at you.

Someone drops a knife, a baby cries and tumbleweed blows across. That's the only sound that happens. Well, that occurred recently when they bought bagels and I decided to bring the Aussie side to New Jersey to these fresh, lovely bagels and put Vegemite on the bagels, which apparently is a cardinal sin and the family has not looked at me the same since.

So she said that that was one of them. The other one, which she said she has, Mark, you have an incredibly frustrating aversion to warm clothes. So I am that guy where it's negative five, which is Celsius, negative five Celsius.

I mean, which is I guess 30 or 40 or something Fahrenheit. And yeah, I'm that guy that's like, I'm in shorts and a t-shirt and it's kind of cold out. And why am I cold?

Why am I like, oh, the jacket thing. I just don't do that. But I don't, I don't have that impulse to put it on.

And I didn't, I don't know, Teal. I just, I like fewer clothes. As few clothes as possible.

When I, when I can, obviously, you know, you got to, you got to dress up for work and that and that sort of stuff. But when I'm on my own time, I prefer to be wearing as few a layer of clothes as possible. And it infuriates Sam.

[Speaker 2]
Is it just the feeling of not liking clothes on your body? Or is it just the, the annoyance of having to put on a jacket?

[Speaker 1]
It's the, I don't want clothes on my body.

[Speaker 2]
Wow. So if you had it your way, you would just be a nudist. Is that what you're trying to tell me?

[Speaker 1]
I mean, but maybe, maybe some board shorts, you know, everywhere.

[Speaker 2]
Well, I'm sure she's not complaining too much for that, for her own sake.

[Speaker 1]
I mean, maybe, I don't know. It depends on the day, Teal. Very much, very much a mood-based thing.

[Speaker 2]
How many burritos have you been eating?

[Speaker 1]
How many burritos have I eaten? Do you know what I used to, when I was in college, I ate about a loaf of bread each day. That was my average.

That was my average. I would have six pieces of toast for breakfast. I'd have two sandwiches for brunch.

I'd have two sandwiches for lunch. Then I'd usually have a sandwich before dinner, a real dinner, and then four pieces of toast before bed.

[Speaker 2]
Stop it.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, that was my bread and toast.

[Speaker 2]
Were you potty building? Were you working out a lot?

[Speaker 1]
I was, I was working out a lot, but that wasn't really why. It was just an affordable meal for someone who would like to eat a lot.

[Speaker 2]
That is a lot of food. In your younger years, you can get away with that.

[Speaker 1]
It was a lot of carbs. It was a lot of carbs.

[Speaker 2]
That is a lot of carbs. Oh my gosh. I love that.

I think that's hilarious.

[Speaker 1]
All right, Teal, on an unrelated and much more relevant to our listeners topic, I want to know, a client asked me this and she said, can you talk about this with Teal? I said, brilliant idea. I love this.

Can you help yourself or make yourself fall in love? Now, before we go too far, the context of the question is, look, I meet a lot of men. I see a lot of men, whether it's online or offline.

I think it's especially online where there's, you know, your brain's trying to skip over stuff. But in general, Teal, you meet someone, he's respectful. He's solid.

He ticks the boxes that you put on paper. And it seems like he is very different from maybe an unhealthy or toxic person you have dated in the past. It's the kind of person that your mum or dad would say, yes, be with.

So all your best friend would say, yes, be with someone like that. You're just not feeling that attraction, that sort of chemistry, that pull. Is there any way to help yourself feel it?

That's my question to you, Teal. Very curious.

[Speaker 2]
I think I know what your answer would be here to this.

[Speaker 1]
Do you? I don't. So that's good.

I was going to answer after you and feed back off of your answer.

[Speaker 2]
I'm curious. Well, what I was going to say is what you were probably going to say.

[Speaker 1]
What's this podcast now going to be? What would Mark think that Teal would say about a topic? Mark, what do you think Teal's opinion would be about your opinion on the topic?

[Speaker 2]
We're really reaching here for these.

[Speaker 1]
Oh God, I'm confused just listening to myself. Jesus.

[Speaker 2]
I just, I, the first thing that came to mind was, I guess I'm knowing you well enough now that I can hear your voice in my head and you would probably.

[Speaker 1]
Jesus, are we at that stage? Right.

[Speaker 2]
That you would probably, now I forgot what I was going to say.

[Speaker 1]
That's how you build an audience up and leave them there with no drop. That's, that's, that's the podcast equivalent of when the DJ's about, he's going up and up and up and about to go to the drop. And then the music cuts out.

Cause that's what you just told us.

[Speaker 2]
Got to keep it light and fun in the audience here.

[Speaker 1]
What do you think I would think?

[Speaker 2]
What you would probably say to this is that if everything's lining up and you're just not feeling it first, look at where might you be trying to sabotage this and like have your own blocks coming up maybe from past traumas or past things that are trying to purposely push away something good. Is that something that you would say? I feel like that's something you would say because if every, if this guy is literally just a walking, amazing masterpiece and you're just like, and just not that attracted to him, does that actually say something more about you than it does actually about them?

[Speaker 1]
So I've seen both sides of this and I've seen mistakes on both sides of it, which is why I think it's a hard one to advise people on. We had a good discussion last podcast about the traffic lights and about the feelings relating to your vision that I thought was really good because I've, I've honestly seen both, you know, Teal, I've seen women try to convince themselves to be with the logical guy where it's maybe the one their parents wanted. It's the person that was never actually aligned with them.

It's the one that society says they should have. And, and truly they've, they've maybe tried it for years at times. I've met one woman, she said, I tried it for 15 years.

This guy was always so good to me. I tried to love him and I just couldn't do it. And then often what happens after that is they kind of escape that and they want to go to the most toxic guy they can find because it's so exciting.

So I, I've seen where people try to force a square peg into a round hole. And I've also seen times, as you say, where it's like, you could put the healthiest, you know, most attractive person in front of a woman and she will just turn the other way and find, you know, the fuck boy in every room. So I've seen both and, and individual context does play a big part here.

I think you've really got to be honest with yourself and have a look at, okay, you know, is, I always liked the idea of attractive, not obsessive. So it's that simple thing of, am I getting the like crazy butterflies where I'm obsessed with them and think about them all the time? No.

Well, that might be a good thing. And you might not be used to having a love that's actually healthy because a love that's actually healthy doesn't feel like that. It's kind of like, pretend you grew up in a busy kitchen where pots and pans and clanging and you know, blah, blah, blah, everything's so busy.

And then someone puts you in a library, it feels wrong, right? All you want to do is throw a table up in the air and make it feel normal. So there's an element of our nervous systems can sometimes be adjusted to a hyper excitable state.

And then we put you in a healthy relationship and it doesn't feel right. So I think you've got to kind of take a good honest look if that could be going on for you. At the same time, forcing yourself to try to be with someone who's like a three out of four that is in no way, shape or form attractive to you, even if some maybe a little bit of disgust is coming up as an emotion for you, that's really difficult.

I have a couple of little things clients can try on this. But in general, if your body is rejecting someone, I think it's really hard to correct for that.

[Speaker 2]
I couldn't agree more. I love everything you said there. And I've had that exact experience happen before I met Spencer, where it was like we aligned on everything and the communication was so good.

And we were like, made each other laugh. And we felt like we were becoming best friends, but I just couldn't get myself to feel physically attracted to him. And he wasn't an ugly guy and he was tall and he was, you know, outgoing and all this stuff.

It just wasn't there. And I had to break up with him for that exact reason. I'm like, I'm sorry.

He would lean in to kiss me and I'd go, and that's not a good sign.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. It's funny you say that because smell is a big part of this.

[Speaker 2]
And that's what I was going to go to next.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah. You're going there next.

[Speaker 2]
The pheromones. I really do think the body is giving us indicators of, for not just attraction levels, but also like compatibility in giving offspring. It's weird, weird to say.

I think our body is communicating to us the types of partnerships that we want to be in on so much more than just a mental level or like a spiritual level, but also on a physical level. And, you know, I think I loved what you were saying about not becoming obsessive over the attraction piece and that that feels very different than the actual, just general attraction of compatibility and being with someone on all levels. I had a girlfriend who was constantly telling me about guy after guy, after guy, after guy that she was attracted to, that she was meeting and dating.

And it was always related to first off, how hot he was, how gorgeous he was, how big his abs were, all this kind of stuff. And it's like that level of attraction is so surface level there to me, there's so much of a depth to attraction that is not just about the looks at all. And she recently just met someone that I think is the one.

And she didn't talk about his looks for at least the first 15 minutes of us catching up. And I was like, what does this guy actually look like? So that to me was a huge indicator of a difference of like you said, that kind of maybe whether it's obsessive or just not real attraction on the level that we need for compatibility.

[Speaker 1]
I like everything you said there. What about online where you haven't had a sense for someone's smell yet? You haven't connected with them.

How would this apply there where you don't really have a sense for someone as you would with this guy that you gave the example of?

[Speaker 2]
I still think our intuition is picking up on so many nonverbal cues, even if we're not smelling them as weird as that sounds. That's going to be the next thing on the dating profile. Yeah.

[Speaker 1]
Pretty sure there's reality shows where they've done that, where they've given smells to women and being like, which smell do you like?

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. They've done it with t-shirts, I think, where men will wear t-shirts and then you smell the t-shirts. But anyways, please.

I hope that does not become a thing. I still do think that our mind is picking up on lots of nonverbal cues, even if we're not having little opportunities to smell these people, hopefully.

[Speaker 1]
Smell through the phone. Wouldn't that be great tech? iPhone 45 now comes with a smell-o-meter that you can smell those using the phone.

[Speaker 2]
You just get this little poof of BO as you're swiping, right? Oh my God, please no. But no, your mind and your spirit is always picking up on the nonverbals.

And I think you've referred to this so many times, that the pictures can say so much just in your body language. I think even just looking into somebody's eyes, you can see so much about who this person is. So I don't think you need all those nonverbals.

I don't think you need the pheromones to be able to fully establish it. But it's baby steps.

[Speaker 1]
One last question on this, because I'm curious. How do you balance that with giving people an honest chance? Everything you said just then.

[Speaker 2]
It's going to be filtering. It's going to be like you're doing, like you're exactly demonstrating through this whole Tinder project. You start with the numbers, right?

You go through lots of people. You get a certain amount of people onto the phone. From the phone, you get to hear the voice.

The voice registers with the psyche. The psyche either gives you green light, red light. Then you go to the in-person date.

Your body sniffs them out, gives you the next green light or red light.

[Speaker 1]
Come here. I need to smell you.

[Speaker 2]
This is becoming a lot more sensitive.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, if a woman said that to me, I'd be like, all right, guess we're getting close now. I put my cologne on, so we're good. We're good.

Come smell me.

[Speaker 2]
Mark, I think we've just cracked the code on dating. I really do. I think guys, everyone on the internet, be prepared.

We've just cracked the code on dating. It's called sensory dating and it's going to be a thing. Let's start out with the eyes and the visual aspect.

Green light or red light. Move to the voice on the phone. Green light or red light.

Hearing. Move to the in-person with the nose. Green light or red light.

[Speaker 1]
Three green lights, you marry them. Simple as that.

[Speaker 2]
Then you go into the sexual piece and the taste piece.

[Speaker 1]
Oh, hello. That is great.

[Speaker 2]
Green light or red light. I think you're hitting all the bases there.

[Speaker 1]
All the senses are taken.

[Speaker 2]
I love it.

[Speaker 1]
So no, I like that. And I think, especially online, the temptation is because many of our clients are overwhelmed with matches as well is, all right, I've got a thousand or 5,000 or 500 matches here. So we go very narrow to begin with and then we go long after that.

So we really sort of strict at the start, but then once we connect to someone, maybe we're not as strict. I like to encourage clients to go the other way around. So be a little wider, more open at the start.

I see if clients can get over 15, 20% of the profiles they look at, they have a chat too. That's a good ratio. 20% is like my favorite, but if a client's getting under 10%, as in they're talking to less chatting to, just chatting, just chatting, giving a chance to chat to less than 10% of the guys that they're coming across, that to me is a problem.

And if that's happening on every app, maybe it's one app, okay, it was a bad app. I go to another app, I'm hitting 15, 18%. But if every app you're at 6%, that's kind of a problem to me.

I think you've got to at least, you would never behave that way at a party. You wouldn't talk to, or I'm only going to talk to a tiny amount of people at a party. So apps are about meeting people.

You wouldn't do it at a party. Don't do it online.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I think we've got two really good takeaways from there.

I love that you have actual statistics that women can really just gut check for themselves. Am I being too selective or am I giving people a chance? And try out sensory dating.

See how it goes.

[Speaker 1]
Try out sensory dating. And I just want to add actually a third, just to finish, because this sometimes helps clients. You go on that first date or that first phone call.

If you're not sure, on a scale of 10, if it's a five or a six, if it's kind of in the middle, give it a second chance is my guide, because it might become a 5.5, then a six, then a 6.5. Connection can grow. Sometimes people are nervous and awkward on the first date. If it's a four or below, it's probably a lost cause.

But even if it's like a four and a half, maybe, but if it's like a five, five and a half, see the person again, give it a chance because you never know what can grow from that.

[Speaker 2]
Love it. Love it. All right, well, I hope you get some more sleep today.

[Speaker 1]
It's been a pleasure. Are you going to wear blue sweater again next week?

[Speaker 2]
No, I'll mix it up. I gotta keep it.

[Speaker 1]
No? No worries. Guys, thanks so much for joining us.

It's been a pleasure. We'll see you next week.