#27 Is This BAD Dating Manners?!? Mark Tests Teal!

In this conversation, Mark Rosenfeld shares the final results of spending 60-days on Bumble as a 'Single-Mum' of a 1 year-old-child and how it differed from his experience meeting men as a 'woman' without children. He then shares what he'll be testing next on The Tinder Project. For the main topic of the day, Mark and Teal discuss what IS and ISN'T bad dating manners, including ordering the most expensive meal, instagramming your date and taking the last shared piece of food. Listen in for laughs from episode 27!

Chapters
0:34 Introduction
1:40 The FINAL Results Of Being A Single Mum On Bumble!
7:30 The NEXT Exciting Tinder Project Experiment
18:38 Teal's TERRIBLE? Date Manners Story
26:41 Is This BAD Dating Manners? Mark Tests Teal
32:08 Teal Husband's Unique Love Language!
32:36 Enjoyed The Ep? Leave Us A 5* Review!

Consult with Mark: https://app.iclosed.io/e/assessment/make-him-yours-mark-rosenfeld
Consult with Teal: https://calendly.com/tealeriege/freecall/
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTinderProject
Support or Visit us at: https://thetinderproject.buzzsprout.com

Chapters

• 0:34 Introduction
• 1:40 The FINAL Results Of Being A Single Mum On Bumble!
• 7:30 The NEXT Exciting Tinder Project Experiment
• 18:38 Teal's TERRIBLE? Date Manners Story
• 26:41 Is This BAD Dating Manners? Mark Tests Teal
• 32:08 Teal Husband's Unique Love Language!
• 32:36 Enjoyed The Ep? Leave Us A 5* Review!

Transcript

[Speaker 1]
The final results of becoming a single mum online. The next exciting experiment on The Tinder Project and Teal and I debate what is and isn't good date manners. We'll see you right after this.

G'day and welcome to The Tinder Project, the podcast where a straight Aussie man attempts to survive 365 days dating online as an American woman. I'm your host, Mark Rosenfeld, Australia's dating coach for women. I'm here with my sidekick, self-love coach, Teal Elizabeth, and together we have one mission, to make meeting good men fun and easy for you.

Let's give it a go. Teal.

[Speaker 2]
Mark, hi.

[Speaker 1]
What a pleasure to see your face again. How are you?

[Speaker 2]
Same, same. It really is nice to have this consistency, just checking in every week on our lives.

[Speaker 1]
I like it, I like it. We passed a big milestone this week, Teal. Day number 200 is behind us.

[Speaker 2]
You know, it was crazy because we were chatting before this and you said, yeah, my daughter is nine months old. I'm like, how is that possible? We started this when she was eight weeks old.

Time is flying. But then I remember, I'm seven months pregnant now too, so I guess things have happened.

[Speaker 1]
I remember hearing that news from you, so what would that, that makes sense. That's about seven months, isn't it? 200 days, so yeah.

Wowee. When I saw that number 200, I went, oh, that's pretty cool. That's some consistency there.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah.

[Speaker 1]
I'm proud of that one, Teal.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, and I am super interested and impressed on how well this whole experiment has been going. I was talking to my girlfriend about it and helping her remind her that yes, there are good quality men out there. And if you need reassurance, just go listen to this podcast because we're literally proving it right now.

[Speaker 1]
Check out the podcast, join the journey. I've got some exciting news for what I'm doing next on that, interestingly. But before I share that with you, I wanna share you the final results of the second month of the single mom experiment.

So I have been a single mom for 60 days now, well, it was about 70 because we do a few extra days on the month. And it's done, it's complete. I am going to, I sort of debated continuing it, Teal, but I decided that, okay, I have a mix of clients.

I would say, yeah, it's probably about 50, 50 moms, not moms, but this particular flavor of single mom, which is a mom of a very young child is not my most common client. I definitely get them. But I thought, oh, do I wanna continue the one-year-old child thing?

And I said, no, we're gonna niche for something really interesting instead. So I'll tell you about that in a wee moment, a wee moment. But first I wanna show you what happened with the single mom experiment.

Now, we changed something this month, Teal. We changed something and we only changed one thing this time instead of last time where we changed two things. We only changed one thing this month, which means any changes can be blamed on the one thing that we changed.

So if you're listening in, I'm gonna explain what's on the screen. Teal, can you see my screen?

[Speaker 2]
Yes.

[Speaker 1]
So we have a table with the results from the Tinder project so far. The two bottom rows are where I'm most interested. These have been the two months where we were a single mom.

We've got how many people we viewed, how many people we liked, how many people we matched with, how many conversations we had, how many phone numbers we gave out, and how many phone dates we ultimately had. So if we look at the bottom two rows, we see something interesting. We see that last month we viewed 129 people.

This month we viewed 275. Last month we liked 59 people out of that 129. This month we actually liked 148 out of 275.

We had some pretty good people come through. That's a pretty high like ratio. My clients won't be that high.

But that's pretty impressive. Interestingly though, despite having so many more likes this month, we only matched with about the same number of people, 55 last month and 58 this month. And the final result, last month we had 11 phone calls.

This month we only had five. This month we only had five teals. So in other words, for those listening, we looked at significantly more profiles this month, over twice as many.

We liked almost three times as many. We matched about the same amount and we only had half as many phone calls. So what happened?

What was the thing that we changed? Well, we only changed one thing. And the thing we changed was where we were sourcing the men.

So we were on Bumble for both versions of the experiment. However, the first month we did it, last month Tia, we were going from the likes queue, as in people who had already seen our profile and matched it. This month, we were going from the general queue.

Now the likes queue is a paid feature on Bumble. The general queue is a free feature on Bumble. So in other words, this month we were swiping.

So let's say for example, we looked at 10 profiles last month. We already know that those 10 guys have liked us. So if we match two, straight away we're off and chatting to those two.

This month, if we look at 10 profiles, well, we might swipe right on two of those, but as you can see, they're not all gonna swipe right back on us. In fact, only a third of them roughly swiped right back on us. So we were sort of a stage behind where we were.

The results of this were really interesting. We got guys who put in less effort overall because they haven't matched with us yet. We spent a lot more time matching and swiping than we did in chats.

And that was a big difference. And the third difference was ultimately we had about half as many dates from it. So the moral of the story here, which was really interesting, is we spent by not going to the likes queue and by instead just being in the general swipe zone, we spent almost three quarters of our time just swiping people instead of actually chatting, which is the complete opposite to previous months where we spent the majority of our time actually interacting and chatting with people.

So while the apps are not necessarily cheap, $34.99 a month is a little bit to pay, you will pay for it with your time because you're spending this time swiping and going through people, a lot of whom who don't match you back or who are just not on the app or whatever it is. And then the other issue with Bumble specifically, almost didn't mention this, is that Bumble only gives 24 hours for the man to respond to you. So the woman has 24 hours to message and then the man has 24 hours to message back.

So when you're in the likes queue, you already know that those guys have liked on you, therefore they are active users who log on at least some of the time. If you're in the regular queue, you can swipe on someone and even if they match you back, they might only log on once a week. So you're spending this time swiping on people who if they're only logging on every 48 hours, have a 50% chance of never even seeing it because Bumble deletes the match.

So time-wise, it was incredibly inefficient to do it this way. We got half the results, the effort was lower and overall we saw a substantial statistical difference in the performance. So moral of the story, stay in the likes queue.

[Speaker 2]
Wow, that is some gold right there that you just mined out for all of us. Thank you so much. And I'm sure Bumble, or Bundle, Bumble.

[Speaker 1]
It's a new dating app, Bumble.

[Speaker 2]
I'm sure Bumble is really grateful to you too for that shameless plug on buying their app. Even though you're not promoting them, but.

[Speaker 1]
I'm not promoting them and to be honest, Bumble's not my favorite dating app, but a lot of my clients do use it. It has its pluses and minuses. I personally think the cons outweigh the pros with Bumble, but that 24 hour thing is a real kick in the guts because you match someone on a hinge or match, they can get back to you in 48 hours and it's kind of okay.

They see you responding and then they log on more often to see you. Bumble, you don't get that second chance unless you pay even more. So that's, yeah, that's the nature of Bumble.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, no, but seriously, that is a huge, huge insight that I think a lot of women are gonna be able to take away from this. So thank you for sharing that.

[Speaker 1]
You're welcome. That was a big one. Are you ready to hear what we're doing next?

This is the biggest change actually in the project so far. So we're doing something now. It's early testing phase.

I'm gonna have more for you next week. It's been hilarious so far. Early testing phase, we're doing something called profile niching.

So this is where we use our profile and also some of our messaging questions in a very different way. So I don't actually know if you'll approve of this. I'm curious to see your opinion once you review it.

But it's a way to basically, we're gonna very much polarize the people who are reading the profile. It's a little bit, it's more intentional, Teal. So I guess you could also say it's less feminine energy.

Yes, there's still feeling words. Yes, there will be some of that, but it's very much like this is the type of person I'm looking for. And essentially, I don't say it in this way because it sounds negative, but it's mapped out in a way that don't swipe me if you're not this exact kind of person.

So it's very much trying to niche down to a specific kind of guy. We're gonna end up on less dates. We're gonna end up with less messages, but we may end up with just a sliver, which is the quality and caliber that we want.

So I'm really curious to see how this goes. We're gonna be testing in different ways on a couple of different sites, but it will be very polarizing. So I'll explain.

I love that. Yeah.

[Speaker 2]
I really love that a lot, actually. And this is something I was chatting about with, yeah, with a girlfriend who is, I was noticing that she was just kind of chatting with every man that ever talked to her and she was getting overwhelmed by it. She's like, I just, it's like, I can't keep up with all of it.

It's just all over the place all the time. I'm like, you need to niche down way more. You need to be way more selective in what you actually want and not talk to guys that you're kind of eh about.

Only talk to guys that you're 100% stoked on. And she's like, really? So I think that this is a really, I mean, and I know there's some back and forth on that too, because you want to give them a chance.

[Speaker 1]
I think being 100% stoked on anyone that you see from a photo, I think it's hard for a lot of women. And I have absolutely had clients end up with guys that they would say first impression was not like a wow first impression. They're not the A plus profiles.

So I guess my caveat would be, there are some people probably like your friend who do need to niche down. But I also want to just say, I also got a lot of clients who go very narrow at the beginning, but too narrow. And there's a, we want to give people a chance when they're good people, but that doesn't mean they're going to wow you the moment you look at them.

So I think there's some finesse.

[Speaker 2]
For sure, for sure. And I wasn't even necessarily referring to just images and stuff, but I just, I think I have, I guess I just give myself way too much credit for my intuition. If I look at a profile, the whole profile, I can know in my intuition if this is a wow profile or if it's just kind of meh.

But you're right. That's really hard to tell with each person and each client.

[Speaker 1]
The gray zone is the interesting area. Cause I think especially you are a very intuitive person and intuition does take practice. It does take the feminine energy work that you do.

It does take gathering. I think the gray zone is where it can be a little bit confusing. Like I look at that person and if we were to score them A through D, the D's are obvious, the A's are obvious.

What about the B's and the C's? Do we give the occasional C a chance? Is the B good or bad?

I have come to be a bit of a fan of the 10% rule for clients. And the 10% rule basically states that if you're going from the likes queue, you're going to give 10% of guys there a chance. That's essentially what it is.

If you can't hit 10%, as in less than 10% are at all appealing that you could even talk to them and give them an open chance to get a date with you, then go to another app. And if you're hitting less than 10% of multiple apps, then either one of two things happening, either you're being overly picky and you are the problem or your profile sucks. And it's just not delivering.

So you've got to re-jig the way you present yourself. If it's only happening on one app, you might be able to resolve it on a new app. Like I have one client, she's like, Mark, I'm hitting 5% on Match and like 15, 20% on Hinge.

I said, all right, let's dump Match. You've been on it for a while. Keep Hinge.

We'll try something on one of the niche apps and just see if we can hit 10% there. But yeah, if every app is under 10%, then I'm either going to say to a client, it's one of those two things. It's either you or it's your profile.

[Speaker 2]
Something's not working. No, I think that's a good rule. But most of what I was trying to say is I like the idea of already putting it out there of testing this out to say, hey, if you're not XYZ criteria, I don't even want to talk to you.

[Speaker 1]
So would you like to hear the criteria? Because this is actually a debate of how specific do we want to be? How much are we going to funnel this criteria?

So we've got a few things. Some will be done funneled with profile. Some will be funneled with messaging.

And it does make, I have to admit, doing it already, the messaging is, it feels good and bad to me. Because on the one hand, it's very intentional. On the other hand, it can easily slip into interviewee if you're not, it really can take the fun out of it and the vibe out of it if you're not adding a feeling where some emojis, a little bit of laughter.

There needs to be something because it could definitely sound like interview questions, which is not, hey, interviews are not fun to attend to. So we've got, here's what we've got so far. Niching number one, single woman, obviously.

Niching number one, I want to start a family in the next 12 months.

[Speaker 2]
A family?

[Speaker 1]
A family. Yeah, so I'm going, I've debated doing two years, but I thought, nah, screw it. I'll give myself a challenge next 12 months for a family.

As if that wasn't enough, niching number two, I work, but I intend to stop work and be a stay-at-home mom for this family.

[Speaker 2]
So I want a provider.

[Speaker 1]
Provider, correct. We're niching, again, we're niching for someone, yes, who's going to provide and who wants to provide soon for a family soon.

[Speaker 2]
Third niche is- I'm assuming wants commitment, right? Like wants to get married to have kids, right?

[Speaker 1]
I think that, I think that, yes. I guess I didn't explicitly explain that, but it kind of goes- That's implied.

[Speaker 2]
Yes, that's implied. Not in this day though, not in this day.

[Speaker 1]
No, it's true, and you make a good point there. I guess I could have put that in as well. I sort of feel that if we can have the kids conversation, the marriage one is probably easier to encroach later on.

So, but yes, you make a good point. I didn't specifically put that in. The third is a little bit less of a niche, but I think it is, it's kind of powerful in that I have a relationship coach.

We're putting it right out there. So we were looking for people who are not kind of judgmental of that stuff. Maybe people who go to therapy or have their own coach, or at least are open to the idea or think it's curious, they're curious about it.

[Speaker 2]
So we're trying to- They're into self-development.

[Speaker 1]
Yeah, into self-development, exactly. So we're niching for people who are into self-development, men who are into self-development or okay with it, men who- It also weeds out some insecurities, I think, having that as well. So we're weeding out for that.

We're weeding in for a man who wants to start a family in the next 12 months, and we're weeding in for a man that likes the idea of that provider role as opposed to the 50-50 role. So it's quite specific. Then we're gonna niche for one or two more things, which is like, do you have a health and fitness routine?

And do you enjoy your work? Or is it more of a duty slash chore? But that will probably come in, it is coming in the messaging.

So we're gonna niche, and we're gonna see if we can hit the target. We're not gonna do it, yeah, by just kind of looking at a profile and hoping. We're gonna really set it up so that the people we want recognize that they are that and put in more effort to make themselves obvious.

So we might get 10, hey babes, and then we get one larger paragraph that says, hey, I just read your profile, really like this and that. Here's blah, blah, blah, here's me. Could I take you out?

We're looking for the separateness between the investment that we get from the nots and the haves. So it'll be an interesting experiment. It'll definitely change the numbers around a lot.

Early days so far, I'll tell you more about that next week, but it's been really fun. I'm really curious to see if overall.

[Speaker 2]
It's just buzzy for sure.

[Speaker 1]
This is more of a very selective strategy. It is a bit more intentional. Intentional is the nice way to put it.

I guess interviewee would be the not so nice way to put it. Maybe masculine would be the not so nice way to put it. The other approach was very social, very feminine, very glowy.

Hey, let's meet people, let's get to know them. But it does leave some of those questions around base a little bit later on. So one method is I think a more of a social approach like you would use in a networking event or just a general meeting people mindset, which I do really like that.

And I think that's an important mindset to have. This one's gonna be more intentional, which we'll see. I'm just gonna see what the results produce.

Yeah, I don't know.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, this is so cool. Well, I really applaud you a lot for going for this because I think our listeners are gonna really appreciate it and respect it a lot because these are very important values that I think a lot of women have.

[Speaker 1]
And you can change them. If someone has a different one, they can just sub in something.

[Speaker 2]
Totally, but to show our listeners and to experiment with our listeners of like, yeah, we are gonna go first and show you that it's okay to put yourself out there in this way. And that there are people that are willing to step up.

[Speaker 1]
That are responding to it.

[Speaker 2]
Responding to that. You don't have to hide behind pretending that everything's fine when you have strong needs and desires.

[Speaker 1]
You can leave it. I think it could be really interesting. I'm really curious to see if it, maybe it'll blow the other strategy away.

Maybe it'll work better, even if it's not quite as social. Maybe it'll flop and we'll, cause I guess the risk is very early days so far, I have seen, okay, we are getting some really invested people, but they're probably more what I would grade the C or D profiles. You know, they're the people who probably, you look at them and you go, you probably don't have many options in women.

So this is why you're putting in more effort, at least from your profile. You know, you've got two photos. One of them, you should never have been taken.

You know, you were getting some of these profiles through and then they send these really well thought out messages and or at least decently thought out messages. And so we are getting a little bit of that. Ooh, it's the people who don't have as many options, but I'm figuring it's only going to take one or two good options to really recognize the profile to make it worthwhile.

So we'll see, Taylor.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah. I am very curious about the wanting to have kids in 12 months, because I am a little worried that's going to scare a lot of guys away. I know you're doing that intentionally, but because even for myself, if I were on the apps and I was a man and I saw that, it'd be like, well, how does that even work?

Because I want to get to know you first for at least a year before I think about starting a family with you. And you're already in the headspace of, I just want to use you to make kids. So I just, I wonder if, I hope that's not going to backfire.

[Speaker 1]
Maybe it's too niche.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah.

[Speaker 1]
It could be. The more realistic thing I think would be 24 months, but I do get clients who come to me and say, I want to do this within 12 months. So I go, all right, well, let's see if it's even possible.

But perhaps, I mean, you can't niche for everything. And yeah, we are intentionally going in aggressive here to polarize the audience. So we'll see if there's enough in the advertisement to get the leads we want.

So we usually mark when we go here. But if there's no quality leads, then we do need to look at is 18 months, 24 months a more realistic timeline. Even 18 months might be, yeah, might be the go.

But we'll do it this way for a little while, see what we get.

[Speaker 2]
See what we get. Well, this is a great transition for me because I have a little story that I want to tell you and I want to get your insight on.

[Speaker 1]
Oh. Dating manners. Dating manners, I'm excited for this.

Okay. I've got some examples too I want to ask you about. So you go.

[Speaker 2]
I, like I said, I have this one girlfriend. She's on the apps right now. She's like, Tila, I'm your perfect avatar.

You have to use me in your show. You have to talk about all my experiences because they're just so funny. I'm like, all right, girl, if you want me to, I'll talk about it.

And she wants to get your insight on this too. So.

[Speaker 1]
Okay.

[Speaker 2]
She was dating this guy. Finally, she broke up with this guy. Thank God.

That's the funny thing about having a friend and being a love coach is that you really can't give them advice. They don't want it.

[Speaker 1]
No, they don't want it. They're like, nah.

[Speaker 2]
They're not paying you. They're not invested in what you're saying.

[Speaker 1]
I've known you too long to think you're a professional. Stop that.

[Speaker 2]
And then she had the audacity to ask me to send a breakup text to this guy. And she's like, do you want me to use chatGBT to give you some help to get you started? And I was like, who do you think you're talking to?

This is my mastery. This is my work. This is my like pride and joy.

No, I'm not using a fricking robot. I was so pissed. But anyways, I did break up with the guy for her over a text message.

[Speaker 1]
Wow. I'm assuming from her phone, not from yours. You weren't like, hey, this is whatever your friend's name is, name.

Just notice I'm breaking up with you on her behalf.

[Speaker 2]
No, no. It was so funny. But I mean, one of the big red flags that, I mean, to me, I was like, girl, seriously?

Like dump his ass already, please. But she was like, I don't know. Is this bad?

So he comes over to her house one time. She makes him a spaghetti dinner.

[Speaker 1]
What date are we? What number?

[Speaker 2]
So this is probably like four or five months in.

[Speaker 1]
Oh, okay. So they're in a relationship.

[Speaker 2]
They're in a relationship at this point.

[Speaker 1]
This is a partner. Okay, gotcha.

[Speaker 2]
And this is a rebound relationship, by the way. She's just getting out of a divorce.

[Speaker 1]
Okay.

[Speaker 2]
And this is a new relationship she's jumping into. And she's, yeah, they've been dating for a few months. There's been lots of red flags, but she's preferring to ignore those.

Anyways, he comes over to her house.

[Speaker 1]
As you do. Yeah, right. Red flag?

I don't see any red flags. That's a soft pink, Mark.

[Speaker 2]
I know, right? Well, you know, when the other parts are good, it kind of clouds everything. I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna let this all play out.

[Speaker 1]
I'm just gonna watch. It's true, because the missing part, that you actually, that's true. The missing part of what you don't have, often it's like the missing puzzle piece that you've craved for so long, you forget the rest of the puzzle.

That's exactly it.

[Speaker 2]
And no matter how many times I'd help her become aware of that, it didn't matter. She's still stubborn. But it was fun to watch from the sidelines.

Anyways, so she makes him a spaghetti dinner. And she gives it to him, and they're sitting at the table. And he starts eating it with his hands.

[Speaker 1]
Oh. Are we talking, because sometimes Americans call spaghetti pasta, or are we talking the long spaghetti?

[Speaker 2]
No, we're talking long spaghetti here.

[Speaker 1]
The long, actual, real spaghetti. Jesus.

[Speaker 2]
Slurping it up with his fingers. And she's just appalled. And I mean, she's from- But she'd not seen this before.

[Speaker 1]
Was this one of the red flags that she was blind to, because the sex was too good?

[Speaker 2]
She's never seen this before.

[Speaker 1]
She's never seen this before. Wow, he had kept this in, okay.

[Speaker 2]
And this is the thing, right? She was raised in Laguna Beach. She was raised with very good manners, from a very great family.

So she's like, Teal, am I just too hoity-toity-bougie for this?

[Speaker 1]
Or is this- I've been Laguna Beached.

[Speaker 2]
Or is this just like an absolute no-no? So I'm curious to hear your thoughts, Mark. Is this her being too bougie, or is this an absolute no-no?

[Speaker 1]
That's a calamity. That's a calamity. I don't have perfect manners.

I would never do that. Jeez. That's an absolute calamity.

And then, oh, there were just, there were so many other just like- I'm just impressed that he went five months without hiding that. Like, without showing that side of himself to her. Because at that point, you've been around the person plenty, you've eaten a lot of meals together.

And what, he just shows up one day and is throwing the spaghetti in.

[Speaker 2]
Flipping spaghetti, like he's eaten out of a barn, doesn't eat- Was there meatballs, or are we just talking just spaghetti?

[Speaker 1]
I don't know if there are meatballs. I was really curious, like, did this apply to the sides as well? Is there- I just want to know that some of the- I know.

[Speaker 2]
You know what the cra- No, this is the craziest thing. She said her ex did the same thing. She has a pattern.

[Speaker 1]
That's not the missing piece at all. It's familiar. Wow.

Never heard of that pattern before. What's your pattern in men? Oh, Mark.

I just, every guy, different guy in the same body. Sorry. Same guy in a different body every time.

Oh, okay. What's the actual pattern? Pasta.

Spaghetti. It goes bad every time.

[Speaker 2]
It goes bad every time.

[Speaker 1]
Oh gosh. That's not a pattern. That's an eating habit.

That's my pattern. Okay. How do you, because your patterns are supposed to be what you're familiar with.

I don't think anyone in Laguna Beach even eats spaghetti, let alone eats it like that.

[Speaker 2]
It was pretty darn hilarious. And it really does ask you though, it begs the question of manners. Like what level of manners is, you know, acceptable and what a man is really saying about someone.

[Speaker 1]
Above that. Something above that.

[Speaker 2]
I mean, eating spaghetti does actually say a lot about his character, right? And a lot about the kind of guys that she's attracting.

[Speaker 1]
This poor woman is gonna, what kind of man am I attracting? Who at this? Once it's a coincidence, twice it's a, what is it?

Twice it's a, there's a saying. Do you know what it is? It's something like, once it's a chance, twice it's a coincidence, three times you have a pattern.

So it's if three spaghetti men in a row, whatever that's saying about these men, this your poor friend is like.

[Speaker 2]
Four times you've got a problem.

[Speaker 1]
Four times you've got a major issue that you should probably check into some form of rehab for.

[Speaker 2]
But I will say.

[Speaker 1]
Four times is rehab.

[Speaker 2]
She has given me full permission to talk about this and joke about it on this podcast episode.

[Speaker 1]
Well shout out to your friend. What's your friend's name?

[Speaker 2]
Shout out to her. Her name's Brie. She's fabulous.

[Speaker 1]
Shout out to you Brie. We appreciate you. Sorry about the spaghetti habit.

[Speaker 2]
This is the most beautiful thing though about this whole thing that I wanna really highlight. I really helped her see like this has to end. Like you cannot keep dragging this along.

Like this is a rebound for a reason and it's not meant to be continuing on forever. So she did decide to break up with him or have me break up with him. And the next day, literally no joke.

[Speaker 1]
Why you said that. She did decide to break up with him. Well, technically she fled the country and went to Mongolia and has changed her identity.

But that still counts as breaking up with him, right?

[Speaker 2]
I love you Brie.

[Speaker 1]
I mean, when I say she broke up with him, technically I broke up with him and she burned his house down. But it still counts as a break up. Right?

Yeah. Right.

[Speaker 2]
Okay. But the thing was, is that when she fully made peace with it and said, yes, let's do this. Let's rip the bandaid.

The very next day, she met a man of such a higher caliber. Oh wow. Amazing.

I had her go through my vision exercise and we were working through the visions and like helping her set her standards and her priorities.

[Speaker 1]
Yep.

[Speaker 2]
And literally the next day, she met the most fabulous, amazing man. She's so excited about him and like isn't even thinking about this guy at all. And I'm just like, see?

Amazing.

[Speaker 1]
You make space. You clear out what you don't want and make space for what you do. And I'm assuming that they've eaten spaghetti and there's been no red flag around that.

[Speaker 2]
Yes, actually he took her out to an Italian restaurant. And guess what? He bought her like a $90 bottle of wine and totally wined and dined her.

[Speaker 1]
I mean, she just wanted him to use a fork. That's all gravy. Sure.

She was just sitting there like lovingly looking at his fork and watching him use it. And the $90 bottle of wine was just the icing, wasn't it? Shout out to you, Bree.

Congrats on raising your standards for yourself and clearing your energy.

[Speaker 2]
Absolutely.

[Speaker 1]
So Teal, on the subject of manners, I wanna talk about a few that I put together and I wanna get your opinion as to whether or not these are bad manners. So let's see. I'm gonna bring up my little list here.

Teal, we've got a few of these. We'll hit them one at a time. Number one, checking your phone during the date.

Is that bad manners or is that okay?

[Speaker 2]
Ooh, yeah. I would say once or twice is acceptable, but more than that, absolutely not. All right, because we all have a moment where someone pings us and we're going, uh-oh, is there an emergency?

Is this something urgent that I need to respond to? But if it's constant, that's bad manners.

[Speaker 1]
That is bad manners, I would agree. All right, number two, the woman ordering the most or close to the most expensive meal on the menu.

[Speaker 2]
Ooh, I think that's bad manners.

[Speaker 1]
Bad manners? What would you say? I would agree, especially if it's an expensive restaurant.

If it's something that's way out of line. If everything's between, whatever, $30 and $45 and she orders $40, well, who cares? But if she's going, if there's the $20 chicken burger and the $80 steak, then she goes straight to the $80 steak with the $100 bottle of wine or even without the wine, obviously, yeah.

I would say it's bad manners. Being 10 minutes late, Teal. Number three, being 10 minutes late.

[Speaker 2]
Yeah, I'm definitely all for punctuality, but I think, obviously, give and take 10 minutes is fine. If, caveat, you give them a heads up.

[Speaker 1]
Agreed. That's the key. I think being 10 minutes late without a heads up, rude.

Being, what do you think of being 10 minutes late with an apology? Hey, I'm so sorry. I think that's still kind of rude.

You should let the person know. It's still rude, yeah. Gotta give a heads up.

It's courtesy. It is courtesy. Agreed.

Let's make dating better for everyone, team. Number four, taking photos of your food or your surroundings.

[Speaker 2]
I think that's personal preference, but it drives me crazy.

[Speaker 1]
I'd be, oh, I don't think it's bad manners, but I would definitely be thinking I'm dating an Instagram girl or woman if I saw that. I'd be like, all right, I know what I'm getting in for here. This is, yeah, I think I might find it unattractive.

Not necessarily because it's bad manners. In some ways, I would appreciate the enthusiasm, especially the food, but if she's storying it on her phone, that would, yeah. If it's more like, oh my God, this meal is so beautiful.

I want to take a photo of it just for myself. Okay. I could get her, this venue's beautiful.

That's so cool. I'm going to show that to my friend. But if it's an Instagram thing, I think I'd be a little, oh, I'm dating a social media influencer.

Gotcha, all right. The man not offering to pay for her Uber home. Now this is assuming that she's arrived there.

They've had the date and she's decided to, he didn't know how she was getting there, but she mentioned that she's Ubered. He doesn't offer to pay for her Uber home. Bad manners or are we expecting a bit much there?

[Speaker 2]
To me, I think that's a little high expectations, but that's my personal input. What's your thoughts?

[Speaker 1]
I'd say it's, yeah, I think in general, that's one of those expectations that, I'd probably do it if it was a short distance, but if it was a long distance, I'd feel that, yeah, you can't expect that, especially, to be honest, Teal, I hate to say this, I hate to say this, but if I liked her, I'd probably do it. And if I didn't, I probably wouldn't.